Week Twenty-four – Where did it all go wrong?

Man has been on this earth for thousands of years, and somewhere along the line something changed!

They say that observation is the mother of all skills as you can learn so much from being aware of everything that is around you. This week I saw two situations that made me wonder where did it all go wrong with human beings on this planet. I guess this subject may be deeply philosophical and too long to explore human behaviour in this blog, but I will try and share with you what suddenly stroke me like lighting. All humans live their lives in the following sequence; birth, childhood, teenager, adolescence, adulthood, old age and finally we die. I will begin from the end, which it may seem confusing, but events took place that way.

I was travelling this week by subway in one of the busiest cities in the world, Moscow. Like many underground systems in major cities, especially during rush hour, you have to fight to be able to get onto the train and you are packed like sardines in a metal can. Moscow is no exception and to some extent probably busier than other cities I know. I was travelling with a Russian speaking colleague, and just as well, otherwise I would still be there trying to find my way out! As we stood inside the train, more and more Moscovians boarded eventually getting too packed to move anywhere. A young man got on at one of the stations and he had with him a small scooter, folded, which he kept close to him on the floor by his legs. He has nowhere to go or move and stands, like the rest of us, trying to hold onto anything he can. A man, considerably older than him, stood a few feet away and stared at him intensely. One of my favourite pastimes when I travel and an essential part of my inspiration to write is observing people, so I am usually fully aware of what is happening around me and at this point I already know that something is going to erupt. Within a few seconds of the doors closing and the train moving away from the station, the older man looks at the young guy and start to shout at him. Like the British, the Russians stood there ignoring what was happening and the fact that this man seem extremely agitated and shouting at the young guy. After a few more seconds, he pushed his way through two people in front of him and faced the young man whom by now was trying to avoid eye contact with his aggressor. I am standing right next to them and my heart began to race thinking I may be caught in the middle of a fight! The older guy continued to shout in an agitated manner while the young man, calmly answered him and tried to avoid starting a fight. As we arrived at the station, which seemed to take ages, the doors opened and the grumpy old man pushed his way out of the wagon, disappearing through the crowd mumbling something. Doors closed and we continued our journey. When I asked my colleague what was that all about she confirmed that he was just a grumpy old man who hated young people and was upset that this guy had his scooter on the train. There was no real reason for his reaction and it was hard to understand why would someone behave that way.

I reflected on this experience that night and I began to wonder why would someone react like that, what makes someone become so bitter and twisted, attacking a perfectly innocent stranger on the train. He will probably die like this, angry and unhappy.

Now let me take you to where all begins, when we are born. A day later after the subway experience, I was travelling to the airport on the express train from Moscow. It is a very comfortable service, good and clean trains and it is faster than a taxi in traffic. It’s always fairly busy but nothing like the underground and usually there are plenty of seats for everyone, often with ample room to move about the wagon. Most people using this service are Russians as Foreigners may not be aware of the possibility to travel back and forth to the airport by train. As we set off for the 45-minute journey, a couple sat there with their young child who, like most children, was not able to sit still for more than 2 minutes. So like most parents, to keep him amused, they walked up and down the train while he explored this fascinating new experience. As he walked down the aisle of the train, the 2/3-year-old boy would stop and smile at every person he came in contact with and most passengers would return the smile and a kind word. Upon receipt of a smile from a stranger, the boy would reward his new friend with the cutest laugh you have heard. Repeatedly he visited the strangers on the train to share his smile and laughter, and this kept him, his parents and the rest of us entertained on the long train ride. One of the most contagious things in life is a smile and laughter, and he was spreading joy amongst his fellow human being on the train. As we arrived at the airport he was picked up by his parents and waved goodbye to all those strangers whom he had never seen in his life and probably will never see again but he had touched deeply, in just a few minutes together. I know I will always remember him and his cute laugh; his openess made a great impression on me.

As I boarded the plane and sat waiting to take off, I still had that fantastic image of the young boy walking up and down the aisle giving joy to people and sharing his smile. I reflected on this when suddenly it hit me; I made the connection between the little boy and my experience on the subway the day before. Here there were, two human beings, with age as the only thing that kept them apart, and yet they were so different; I could not help thinking if the bundle of joy that had brighten my journey to the airport would one day turn to be the grumpy old man I saw on the underground. Or was the aggressive old guy a happy young boy once upon a time? Where does it all go wrong? Surely we are all born the same, we all have the same capacity to share a smile and make people laugh, we are all born with the innocence that child had, an innocence that allowed him not to be intimidated by people and bear no prejudice against anyone in that train, he treated each of us the same, and gave everyone a smile, there were no barriers, no differences, it didn’t matter who you were, he was interacting with everyone.

I guess life is too complex to be able to answer the question “where does it go wrong?” We are who we are, very complex beings. May be if everyone was able to keep this innocence we are all born with, there would be no prejudice, no conflict, no hate and the world would be a better place.