Sunday, September 22, 2013

Midlife Crisis! A blessing in disguise

Last year I celebrated my 45th birthday and entitled it “I’m, halfway there” because I have aspirations to leave to at least 90, anything after that it’s a bonus! Reflecting on having lived half of my life helped me focus on how I want to leave the next 45 years.

Now I am turning 46 and beginning to ripe the efforts of my change of state of mind. Back then I began to focus on my fitness and weight lose and work on other things that help me enjoy life to the max. I have always believed that we only live once and you cannot take anything with you to wherever place we end up, so you might as well spend it and get it all done while you are here as nothing is coming with you.

Focusing on these ideals has made me a very different man that I used to be, and fro the record, I am not obsessed with my fitness or staying in shape, I just simply found a way to enjoy my life and make sure I get to 90 in good condition. In my recent holiday to Portugal with family and friends, I knew that in order to enjoy the Portuguese delicious cuisine I needed to get up every morning while everyone was still asleep and go for a run. You may think “Sergio, relax, you are on holiday” and that is exactly what I was doing! By getting up in the morning and go for a run I was doing two things; first spending time with myself to energise and reflect; I see running as a great way to get my thoughts together, think of my writing projects, focus on what I’m going to do next and get just a little bit fitter. Second I was pre-burning those calories I knew I would enjoy during the day. This daily run allowed me to not to worry about what I was eating and whether I was putting on weight, which I will then have to work really hard to get rid of it. How many times have you said that? I know I have and getting rid of it afterwards its a nightmare. But by simply getting up in the morning, going for my usual run, at no extra effort, I could enjoy my holidays and stay in shape.

So no, I am not obsessed with losing weight and staying in shape, I’d like to think of it as just being in control and enjoying my life, enjoying those 45 years I have left. Remember, self-discipline is harder to follow, as there is no one pushing you to do it, it is up to you not to let yourself down.

So am I having a so-called “Midlife Crisis”? Perhaps I am and in this “Midlife Crisis” I have purchased a Rebook ZR9 Treadmill, which is now seating in my front room, a gift for my 46th birthday. In some ways this is my “Parked outside Red Ferrari” because the “Midlife Crisis” comes to all of us in different forms. And by the way, “Midlife Crisis” does not only come to men but to women too, they also find themselves with a new lease of life but may not be in the shape of a “Red Ferrari” or my ZR9!

The reality is that for many people becoming 40 something is a wake up call, a reality check that brings us to change our habits, our outlook and in may cases our entire lives, depending on how dramatic your change is. But I don’t think anyone escape going through “Midlife Crisis”.

But why do we call it “Midlife Crisis”? Reflecting on this and knowing what I‘ve seen in other people, the term “Midlife Crisis” is used because some people’s lives, at the midpoint, had had a very impactful change and become “Crisis”

We’ve often heard the stories; “he left her for a younger woman” or “she met him in the internet and just left her job and career to go and live with him in another country” These changes are much more dramatic than getting a treadmill, but I don’t think they are any different to my new fitness regime, the fact is that when you become 40 something, most people may feel they need to change their life in a dramatically way. I think that those who make a much more dramatic change are seeking something new which comes from deeper issues and a string of unhappiness in their lives. This pushes them take the plunge and make a dramatic change; mine was being unhappy with my health so I began to run, theirs was being unhappy with their relationship or general life so they leave it all behind.

Now I am not suggesting that this only happens when you become 40 something, there are plenty of people who make dramatic life changes before or well after this age, I know I did when I left my first marriage, but what I am suggesting here is that there is a time in our lives, usually around half way, when we become a little bit wiser and aware that time is ticking, that there is no turning back, we know that moving forward the way we want will help us have a happier and more enjoyable life. And so we change, we change our habits, our mentality, our routines, our minds; we just simply know that it’s time to change before it is too late.

So whether you are 40 something, not yet there or you well past already this stage in your life, I hope this personal encounter of such critical time in our lives has help you in some way to either know that change is good and comes to all of us in different shapes and sizes, or to know that whatever your “Midlife Crisis” looks like, it will make things better in your life. And if you haven’t been there yet, you may want to think about it, and like me, take control of whatever time you have left on this earth, because if we do not know where we will end up, we might as well make the most of today and when we get there we can turn around and say “yes I lived my life the way I always wanted”

If this is a subject you enjoyed reading about and would like to enjoy a moving story on this, you can check out my play called “40 something” in my website it is the story of a woman who realises she has devoted all her life to others and never to her, and she knows it is not too late to change.