Week Nine 2015 – Redefining your focus

Our lives can be so busy we may loose sight of what our focus is and instead of achieving a lot we thin down our successes.

In case you didn’t notice (and this will prove the point of this blog) this is week nine of 2015 and I skipped week eight!  This was done on purpose and I needed to break the norm to find out what this is really all about. After the successful completion of my 52-week blog challenge last year, I began 2015 with the same pace of writing a weekly blog. This was partly due to a very positive comment from someone encouraging me to continue to write weekly, but also because it has become and habit and once a habit is formed it’s easy to continue doing something. I also added to my already fully packed bag of hobbies doing a video Vlog of my travels, inspired by my children who watch endless hours of videos in YouTube and the self indulgent Christmas gift I gave myself in the form of the famous Selfie Stick. So it was only appropriate to adopt this new task and produce this weekly video.

But last week, as I sat and edited my video Vlog and tried to look for inspiration to write my blog and I began to get that feeling that I was doing too much and accomplishing perhaps too little. This thought came into my head as I also stumbled upon an incomplete play I have been working on and never finished. I was really miffed when I opened the file and began to read the dialog and realised I had not finished giving life to the story and its characters and now going back was harder as I had lost the thread of the story and needed to re-read and re-think the idea. I had been so busy writing weekly blogs and video Vlogs that I had forgotten I was working on this script. And to top up all these feelings I watch the Oscars thinking “I’ll never get there if I don’t focus on trying to write that golden nugget that will get me to Hollywood” If I am too busy with lots of little projects I will struggle to get anything big done.

So I put the proverbial pen a paper down and decided to redefine my focus. Whilst I really enjoyed the challenge of writing every week I needed to think about what my focus as a writer is. Apart from the fact that I guess you do run out of subject to write every week and I have added the video Vlogs to my repertoire which I also enjoy doing, all this drove me to neglect my script writing which at the end of the day is where my real passion (and I think my talent) really is. Wanting to be in the limelight and doing so much has made me realise I have so much to give but at the end I am just churning stuff to get it out there. I felt a bit like a reporter of a dally newspaper having to meet datelines and get my work out on time, which at the end of the day takes away the pleasure of what I do and why I do it.

So I have made a conscious decision to continue to bring to you my blogs but not in such a prescriptive manner, I guess just like I did before 2014, I want to write about experiences I see and come across as and when they emerge rather than trying to find these so that I can meet a dateline to get this to you. I know my loyal and trusty readers and follower won’t mind to get my blogs less often combined with video Vlogs and the occasional script or short story (in fact you may be glad you don’t have to read my stuff every week! J) So from now own, some weeks you may get a Vlog, or a Blog or a short story, a script or just simply a note keeping you up to date with my work.

Taking time out is a valuable lesson we should all keep in mind particularly when we feel we have lost our sense of purpose or direction. Sometimes stepping back and re-examining what we do will demonstrate that somewhere along the line we got side tracked, or derailed or even distracted from the real purpose and meaning of our passion, our focus, of the things we really enjoy in life. I encourage you to take time off, like me, to redefine your purpose, your goals, and your focus.  Life is a destination and there are many roads that lead us to the end, but if we loose ourselves by taking to many avenues, we end up in the dirt track with no real direction or clear view of our end goal. I’m off to finish that script I never completed and start the next project, who knows, this may be the one that gets me that ticket to the red carpet one day!

Week Seven 2015 – The power of a Smile

There is nothing more powerful and more contagious than a smile, so give generously!

 They say that love makes the world go round, and I also say that a smile is the fuel of that engine that make the world go round. Have you ever stop to think how powerful a smile is? And how easy is to give a smile? It takes 37 muscles of your face to frown and only 17 to smile, so it’s even easier than you think. And giving a smile to someone can mean so many things; it can give comfort to someone in distress, it can make you feel safe in times of trouble, it can make you feel welcome in strange places and most of all, it gives you that magic energy every time you smile at someone; it gives the receiver that much needed positive energy.

And a smile always produces a smile (at the right time and right place) but without a doubt and failure, if you smile at someone they will smile back. They don’t know why, it just happens. I have conducted this social phenomenon several times in my life but I got a chance to demonstrate this to a group of people this week. And if you have never tried it before, I beg you to try it as soon as you are done reading this blog, it’s magical and it works every time. And most of all it always makes you feel better, as you have just given something to someone that will help them through their day.

The idea is very simple – when you see someone without a smile, smile at them! And I can guarantee, under normal circumstances, they will smile back. As I sat having dinner with a group of people this week we were served by a young girl who looked so miserable and with a long face. She was not angry or upset; she just simply didn’t smile. Perhaps she didn’t like her job, or something bad had happened that day, but she was defiantly not going to give us more than what she was required to do. At one point she dropped something and said in her native language “this is not my day” and then I knew why she was not smiling and I needed to do something. You can’t be so miserable when you are that young, you still have a lifetime ahead of you to suffer!

So I told the group about my theory and that I would make her smile. Some did not believe me and were skeptical (she really had a long miserable face which looked hard to crack!) but I knew she was not angry; she just simply needed some positive energy and what better way to give it to her than through a smile. I sat there, observing her, waiting for my moment to strike. And as she went around taking people’s orders I knew that would be my chance to make her smile. When it was my turn I looked at her as she held her pen and paper and rapidly dropped her eyes avoiding eye contact. So I paused and waited for her to look at me. There was a very short, awkward silence and everyone waited to see what would happen. And then she looked up, I guess she didn’t know what was coming her way and as she looked at me I smiled. And then, as if by magic, she could not resist and smiled back at me! Everyone erupted with laughter and I placed my order.

She walked away and I had proven my point and theory to everyone at the table and they were all so exited by it. Some were still skeptical and we debated the phenomenon for a while and what made someone smile back at you, so I challenged all my companions to give generously and I asked each and everyone at the table to give her one smile. This would give her enough fuel to get through her shift. And one by one, taking it in turns, gave her a powerful smile. And every time she smiled back, and may I add, more enthusiastic than the previous smile.

As the night came to a close, she had moved from a miserable young girl probably hating her job to a more pleasant woman who enjoyed serving our table but still probably hating her job!

In the end, the social experiment had been a success and my theory once more had triumph.

I am sure she went back to work the next day with the same long face, but at least I know we made her life a little bit better that night. But just think what her job would be like If everyone of her customers gave her a smile; not matter how much she hates her job she would enjoy coming into work to get showered with that tremendous amount of energy that would keep her going for the rest of the day.

I don’t understand why we don’t do this more, its great and helps the world go round.

So don’t just sit there not smiling, give it a go, you will enjoy it and if we all do it, it means that someone will do it to you too! Then we will all benefit from the positive fuel that a smile gives to your life.

Week six 2015 – the Perception of time

Time waits for no one! This week I’ve learned that time isn’t always what it seems and when you least expect it, its gone!

The subject of time has been the centre of previous blogs I have written and I never get tired of writing about it. If the truth be known, I think time is something non of us really understand and therefore do not appreciate fully. If you are fan of the “Back to the Future” movies or indeed any kind of time travelling stories, you would know that the theory of time travel is based on the premises that you fold time to get to the future faster (or to the past depending on which way you are going!) But how do you fold time when you cannot touch it? I guess I’ll leave that to the scientist trying to discover time travel!

But one thing is for sure; we don’t have enough of it and really understand how it works. Let me give you a couple of examples.

In the past I have talked about having time for everything and that your time is the same as mine, yet one of us can have a more productive use of this commodity. This week I have also come to realise something about time, which I guess I knew about it but it hit me finally in the face. We don’t really know how fast or slow time goes. What does this mean? Well even though we measure time with a clock, I am not sure, just like I’m not sure how you would fold time to get there faster, that time always goes at the same pace.

Of course a clock would accurately tell you what has gone by, how many seconds passed since you last looked at the time, but I am not sure it really shows you how you have “travelled” across this time. This is where this “time travel” theory starts to make sense. I actually think time isn’t always the same and some times it goes faster and some times it goes slower; think about it.

This happens all the time is our lives, but it became more evident to me this week as I travelled to Armenia, which is four hours ahead of the UK. I had a very busy and tight schedule and I was away for four days visiting two cities and I spent two days travelling there and back due to time zones. Part of the trip on Tuesday was to stop over in Vienna where I had a ten-hour layover! Now, ten hours in an airport sound ten too many hours and most people would agree that this would be a killer! I had been offered to go down to the city and spend time there rather than at the airport, but I chose to stay, I had enough work to keep me entertained for the duration of my visit to Vienna Airport! I don’t know what it is, if it is because you keep yourself busy, or perhaps because you don’t think about it, but soon after arriving and settling in the lounge to do some work, I looked at my watch and it was already time to board the plane! Time just flew so fast and I didn’t get to accomplish everything I was hoping for in that ten-hour layover.

So here we see what the perception of time is. When you say ten hours, it sounds an awful lot of hours, but when you think about it, on average that’s how much people spend in the office every day. But when you ask someone who works in an office if ten hours go by fast, they may say no (depending on how much they enjoy what they do)

When I finally got to my destination, it was 5.30 in the morning and my meetings where starting at 9 am. I tried to get some sleep on the plane but I’ve never been very good at it. I’m not one of those people that as soon as the plane takes off they are gone. On the airplane I experience the opposite with time. The flight from Vienna to Yerevan was only four hours, which when you take 40 minutes for take off and landing, it leaves you with just over 3 hours of actual flight. Take another 30 for your mean and it’s really not a lot left to get proper sleep. After finishing eating, I closed my eyes trying to snooze. I only had two and a half hours, but talk about time going slow! After what seemed like five hours of trying to sleep without success I opened my eyes only to discover I’d only been tossing and turning for 60 minutes and I had an hour and a half left! What! I tell you the next 90 minutes seemed like a lifetime and I couldn’t wait to land as the seconds just dragged and dragged and dragged…

When I finally got to my destination I wanted to get to bed as soon as possible to try and get as much sleep as I could before my meeting. I arrive at my room at 5.35 am and I calculated that if I moved fast I could be in bed by about 5.45, I only needed to do a couple of things and jump into bed. And again the “fast-forward time” ghost got hold of my time and the next thing I know it’s 6.15 am and I’m just getting into bed! Where did the time go? I should stop folding my time when I shouldn’t!

I had two days of very successful meetings and I guess being so busy kept me going with very little sleep. By the way time passed so fast for the two days I think I was folding it too much!

I love the phrase “time waits for no one” because it tells you how little control we have over time. You cannot stop it and this week I’ve come to realise you cannot control how fast or slow it goes either. What may seem like a lifetime, it may be nothing to others. Waiting for someone or something may seem an eternity and when they arrive or you get there, then it’s over too soon, and time just passed you by, not waiting for you or anyone else!

But one thing is for sure and I still believe it’s true; don’t waist your time! It doesn’t matter how fast or slow it goes, always put it to good use because once it’s gone, you will never get it back!

Week Five 2015 – You are only as old as you feel!

You are only as old as you feel!

Can you believe we are on week five of 2015? And how time flies when you are having fun… and I don’t look a day older!

This week I’m going to talk about age and the subject of how old you feel and look. It is a subject I think we are all affected by and an important part of our lives. The well-known classic fairy tale of Peter Pan is perhaps the best story ever told about how a human should live his life. The whole plot can be summarised as follow:

The story of a man who knew how to live his life - by staying young! He was able to do grown up things that he liked (fighting with swords and staying up late) but be childish at the same time. He was fit and in shape by running, climbing, laughing and a bit of flying. The moment he saw he would grow old by doing other grown up things he didn’t like (marrying Wendy and getting a job to pay the car, having kids, a mortgage and a dog and be miserable eating too much food and drinking to drown his sorrows) he ran away and remained youthful for the rest of his life.

Ok that’s a cynical view of the story but I think there’s some truth in my version of the plot. Think about it; how old do you feel? And does that reflect on your appearance? How about your attitude and the way you behave? More often than not, the way we feel affects the way we look and therefore if you feel 100 years old you will look 100 more! When I was a child I grew up believing that 60 years old was very old! I guess my grandmother’s generation had a harder life and by the time they hit their 60s they were already looking tired and feeling very old. And this image of someone being old at the age of 60 has always hunted me, even though I see now plenty of evidence that when you reach that stage of your life you are still very young. With the right attitude, staying fit and looking after yourself, you can look even younger.

Amazing Joan Collins!

Emmanuel looking great!

This week I watched in the news some of the Red Carpet events (it’s awards season!) and they featured Joan Collins in an amazing black sequence dress with a leg slit all the way to her hips. In the clip she looked an amazing mature woman and when the presenter mentioned she was 82 years old I nearly fell off my chair! Has she had some help from the knife? For sure but even with a little help from her surgeon, her health, her attitude and conviction that she is still a beautiful young woman is what made her look like in her 60’s! I also found out this week that the Mexican Pop Idol “Emmanuel” is just about to turn 60 and this also astonished me, same story, he looks amazing and you would never thing he was more than 50. His looks, attitude and thirst for staying current make him look not just young but contemporary.

And I myself was the subject of looking young this week. Two people mention I did not look my age (I’m turning 48 this year and both said I looked 40) Apart form being a massive complement it also made me think about how I feel; I don’t feel 48, I feel 30 and this is driving my physical appearance to be much younger. I have always felt young, I’m a bit of a Peter Pan, I enjoy being a grown up as well as a youth. The difference is I have taken on all the responsibilities that perhaps Peter Pan ran away from (the marriage, kids, car, mortgage, job) as they complement my life and create a balance. It’s good to feel young and do crazy things, but you also need that stability and maturity in your life, that doesn’t mean I have to look or feel old!

There is no denying that loosing weigh has also contributed to shaving off some years, Peter Pan kept fit all the time, and staying fit has given me an extra burst of energy associated with being young. And staying healthy then drives your mental attitude; to feel young you must also stay mentally young and you will look young. Then you start to dress young. My wife often has to drive me away from the teenage section in the department stores, as I keep on looking at cloths that my son wears (him and I are almost the same height and I started to borrow some of his stuff, how embarrassing! For him of course!) Hey, if you can wear it and look good in it, then why not!

I don’t think you have to pretend to be a teenager to feel young, or suddenly loose all sense of responsibility and give up all your achievements and accomplishments to be young again. I think the secret to feeling young is to believe you are still young. Age is an attitude and what you make it. You can be 100 years old, if you keep mentally and physically fit, you can continue to enjoy life to the max and not become a stereotypical person of your age. At 47, with a family and a mortgage, I do have to act responsibly, people relay on me, but that does not stop me from keeping a young heart and healthy mind and body and an attitude that allows me to look much younger than I really am.

So it’s time to shave off some years, look at your attitude and not your age. Keep healthy and start believing that you can do anything you want, your age is just a number on your birth certificate!

Week Four 2015 – living in fear!

This week I have completed my third week back at work and with it 11 flights! And it’s only January… 

The safest mode of transport!

As many of you would know, part of my job is travelling. I spend a lot of my time on airplanes and on average I have boarded 120 flights every year. That is a lot of flights and many hours in the air. It is also known that flying is the safest mode of transport, in other words you are more likely to be involved in a car incident than to die on an airplane crash.  I guess this is true if you, like many people, take only two to four flights a year for your annual vacation or business trips. But when you are on a plane on average four times a week, I guess the odds are higher!

However, I’m a great believer that if it is your time to go, it’s your time to go and it doesn’t matter how many flights you take, it only takes one to take your life away. So even though the odds increase by taking 120 flights, you could be a person who never travels, gets on a plane and this is the flight where something goes wrong. It’s a bit like the lottery, it doesn’t matter how many tickets you buy, you will win with just one, but of course your odds increase slightly by buying more than one! So when I get on a plane I don’t thinking if this is the one which may come down (thought I do buy a lottery ticket thinking this will be the one! J) otherwise I would never flight anywhere and would not be able to do my job, meet great people and be privileged to have seen some amazing places!

We should never live our lives in fear of what may happen; otherwise we will never get anything done, visit anywhere or accomplish anything! I have been thinking about this all week as I discussed various similar topics with people. I am an absolute fan of KFC and I enjoy eating it in different countries I visit. Talking to a group of people this week, one person mentioned how they would never eat it. When I asked why they said they had heard a story about someone who once found a rat instead of chicken and so she was taking no chances! I’m sure you all know this famous story which happened some years ago, a cooked rat served as a piece of chicken with fires! Now, if the person tells me they don’t eat it because they are vegetarian or find it too unhealthy, and then I understand. But not to eat it just in case another rat gets jumps into the fryer seems to me a little bit like not getting on a plane because you’ve seen a crash! I think there are some very good respectable KFCs and in all my years of eating it I’ve not yet had a rat! You can’t live your life in fear that it may happen to you as it stops you form doing things….

This is why we don’t give into terrorism, that is their objective, and we must not live our lives in fear. After September the 11^th people continued to get on a plane; the attacks this month on the Charlie Hebdo magazine were done to spread a message of fear, a warning that if you speak your mind, if you exercise your freedom of speech you could be killed. The magazine went ahead and published another controversial cartoon sending a message that you cannot let fear rule the world.

If there are bombings in a city people stop travelling for fear of their lives, if there are riots in a town people stop going out for fear of what may happen, if you hear in the news the gloom outlook of the economy people stop spending for fear of what the future may be. And so on, if you get burgled you sleep with the light on, if you have an accident you stop driving, if you get mugged you stop going out, if we get rejected or someone breaks your hard, we stop loving, the list is endless with reasons why we should not do things, for fear to our lives, but we must never let this rule and stops us from doing what we want to do!

I know some times it’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day it is our choice and I respect that. However, I do encourage you to think about what it takes to say “you know what, I’m going to take the risk, the rewards a far better than the odds against it”

Week three 2015 – Small achievements!

Many years ago my father told me that a modest but talented composer when asked how he felt about being number one he replied “I hate it”. Astonished by the answer the interviewer asked him why and he said “there are too many number one’s in the world”

What he was referring to was that for him was more important to be the best at what he does and not just number one. That idea has always lingered in my head and you see this play out every day in our lives. Often the winners of talent shows go on to become famous, for a while, and then vanish in the limelight. One Direction, whether you like them or not, have become a very successful boy band and they were not the winners of the X-Factor proving that this composer was right, there are too many number ones, but it’s the ones behind them you need to watch out for!

This week the results for the NYC Midnight Screenplay Challenge came out and I did not reach the top five to move onto the third round.  It is always disappointing when you don’t reach the next stage of a competition but I am happy to take away the experience, which I enjoyed and learned from it. And as I looked at the results, although I was not on the top five, I was pleased to see I had not come bottom of the league! In the voting system the judges gave points to 15 scripts (out of 28 competitors), from 1 to 15 (a bit like the Eurovision Song Competition) in the two rounds and the top five writers with the most cumulative points went through the third round. In the first set of voting I didn’t get any points but with my second script I was awarded two points, putting me second to last and one of 20 writers with points (there were some that had no points at all!) and this made me very happy!

I know you are sitting there reading this thinking “What?” but I am using the same principle as the one described by the composer my father told me about. In life you need to maintain a positive attitude when you are passionate about something, to keep you going and never give up! Yes I may have not been on the top five who went to the next round, but at least I had two points (I would have really hated not to have any) and I was not the last of the writers with points! Second to last is already one more than someone else and closer to the top! As they say there is always a silver line in every cloud!

And in life everything is about not just wanting to be number one, but to be the best at what you do. I also think it is a matter of opinion and taste when it comes to judging someone’s work. Whilst we all accept feedback and work with it to make us better, more often than not it is someone’s opinion and may not be share by many. Part of the process in this competition was to receive personalised feedback from one of the judges about your work, a very unique thing as often in this competitions they find it impossible to give everyone who enters personal feedback. I welcomed this as I love understanding where I can improve to make me a better writer. I may not always agree with everything, but someone’s opinion can only help you improve.

I wanted to share with you all this experience to get you all to think of the importance of always looking for that silver line in every cloud. I think we should all strive to be number one, of course, but at the same time to enjoy being number two, knowing that we are the best at what we do. And to accept valuable feedback even if it may not seem right, remember perception is reality and this is someone’s reality and others may share it. And whilst as a writer I know it is hard to appeal to every audience, I must strive to reach as many people as I can with my stories.

I will let you be the judge of that. This week I invite you as part of reading this blog to take a look at the two scripts I wrote. They are only 5 pages long (5 minutes of dialog) and two very contrasting stories. Keep in mind the challenge we had – to write a screenplay in 48 hours with three things in mind – the Gen, a place and an object. As you read these visualise them on the screen. I welcome any feedback you have, I would love to hear from some of you and compare your thoughts with that of the judges in the competition. I write these scripts for audiences and not for judges, so I am intrigued to see what some of you think.

Below the links to the two scripts, all you need is 10 minutes (five minutes each) and a glass of wine! Enjoy reading them and please let me have your thoughts.

(click on the title to read the script)

MidnightRunner – a horror story set in a Barn with a padlock as the object

TheView – a romance story set in an office with a cigar as the object

For other scripts and stories go to www.sergiosnyder.com

Week 2/2015 – Freedom of Speech #jesuischarlie

This week the headlines have been griped by the terrible attack on the Charlie Hebdo Magazine in Paris – an atrocity which, followed by a wave of other attacks, was done simply because of the human right to express yourself in a free society. I decided to write this week’s blog on this subject as I feel we all have the right to freedom of speech and no one should be punish for this.

As I writer I use words to express what I feel and see, what is in my head and in my heart. When I write, I always think twice about what I want to say or mention and the art of editing your work is very important to make sure you are happy with what you publish.  I have several times thought twice about publishing something, mainly because I think of the consequences and what it may lead onto, and if I don’t publish something is not because I am scared to, but because I don’t feel it’s important enough to do it and the adverse effects are greater than the rewards of the piece.

The events this week in Paris shows the consequences of what can happen when people exercise their human right of expressing their views, especially with a controversial publication such as Charlie Hebdo; you can upset people. But that basic right to freedom of speech in our societies should not be oppressed by anyone and there is no logical explanation for any individuals to take another’s persons lives for expressing what they think. The publishers, writers and cartoonist at the Charlie Hebdo Magazine believed in what they did; they believed that through their art and satire they were expressing the views and opinions of many, particularly those who subscribed to their publication. The barbarian act of terrorism that took place should not be allowed and we need to demonstrate to the world that people can still express themselves freely without fear of being intimidated or harmed by those who cannot accept criticism and opinions of others.

And if we bring this closer to our lives, we don’t need to be writers or cartoonist in a controversial publication to be the victims of oppression in our lives. We are all subject to people’s radical mentalities and when we attempt to express ourselves freely with an opposing view or argument, we may find holding back for fear of retaliation. Or if we do speak our minds, we may become the victims of an attack. Let me share with you some examples that may illustrate what I mean:

If you have a relationship with someone who has a particularly stronger character than yours it becomes harder to express your opinion or ideas without them pushing their views onto you or getting upset at the thought or suggestion of something they don’t agree with.  Or it may be the opposite, you are the dominant side and no one dares to say anything in front of you because you fly off the handle! Here we have killed freedom of speech; people are frightened to express what they think because of the way someone may react.

How often do we hold back our views and opinions in a conversation to avoid offending someone? Or we don’t hold back and then pay the consequences? I understand there is a place and a time for everything and there is no room for offensive remarks or racist/sexist comments, but there are so many controversial and taboo subjects we don’t talk about just because people can react wrongly, so we avoid them. If we genuinely have an opinion about something, we should have the right to express this opinion. People don’t have to like it or agree, but it is our opinion and we should be able to share it. And when we hold back on those views or opinions it may be because we feel it’s not worth it and we drop the subject. However if you feel passionate about something, you should be able to speak freely without fear of how someone may react.

I may not be the most controversial writer in the world and often my work is expressing feelings and ideas that don’t offend people. I sometimes write scripts that are thought provoking and blogs that may make you think, I try to be politically correct and aware of what I say. But no one, no matter how controversial it may be, should ever be stopped from expressing what he or she believes because someone feels they have the power to silence you. If someone disagrees with something someone said, or they feel they have offended them, as rational human beings we have the power that animals don’t have; “choice”! You have two choices, you can choose to ignore their views and move on or you can choose to talk to them and debate the subject allowing both of you to express yourselves in a civilised manner. Debate is not about reaching agreement; it’s about allowing people that basic right to be heard, the right to freedom of speech.

I want to live in a world where we can all have freedom, and not just physical freedom, but be free to think and express ourselves. If I were not allowed to put on paper my thoughts and feelings, my head would explode!