Worlds Apart

There are #moments in your #life that make you think, think hard of what life is all about. And I get those moments very often. I guess these are the bursts of #inspiration that drive me to #write and put my #thoughts on paper.

But recently I had one of those #moments that got me thinking very deeply, so deeply that I felt I had to write about it. However, I have been struggling the last couple of weeks, thinking about it but more importantly on how to express what has been in my mind.

I like to bring to you the moment that got me thinking of what life is all about in the form of a short story; a story is called “worlds apart”

“Ben” shouted my mother out loud as she always does, “come back inside and get yourself cleaned up before dinner” “don’t shout mother” I wanted to reply, I find it extremely annoying being shouted at, “I’m not deaf you know”. “Five more minutes mum, please?” is what I actually said to her. “Five more minute, not more” she shouted back! What’s the matter with that woman there she goes shouting again!, “I’ll come in when I want,” I wanted to shout back, but I didn’t. Honestly, I can’t stand the way she always shouts… I wish I was somewhere else, far away from here! I hate my life!

I love being outside… I relay love the garden at this time of the year. I guess I’m going to grow up to be a gardener; I love the smell of freshly cut grass, flowers booming with colours and aromas you only smell in the summer. I love to see all the small insects crawling all over the place and the occasional butterfly. If you want to see beautiful butterflies you have to go down the riverbank, it’s just a stroll away from our back garden, literally moments away… but I’m not allowed beyond the gate, mum says it’s dangerous, that I can drawn! What a lot of rubbish!

“Ben! How many times I have to call you? Don’t let me come out and get you!” Yes, there she goes again! I really hate my life! “Ben, come inside right now!” if only I was somewhere else… beyond that gate!

“Abdulla” shouted my mother out loud as she always does “stay away from the door, you know it’s not safe being out there” “don’t shout mother” I wanted to reply, I hate it when she shouts, “I’m not deaf you know” is what I wanted to say but I might as well be, with all the noise outside, I can’t stand it! “I’m just here mum, by the door, there hasn’t been any sirens for a while…” “Ok, but stay inside” she shouted back, honestly what’s the matter with her, why does she always have to shout?  I hate the way she always shouts; I wish I was somewhere else, far away from here! I hate my life!

I really love to be outside; Even though it’s very hot and humid, I love being outside and feeling the heat on my skin, warming up my body, I love the feel of being able to run free, without a care in the world. I wish I could be outside, playing, football. There is a great field just a crawling distance from my house, moments away. There I can kick the ball so hard, I could score a goal from midfield. If only mum let me go, there are no sirens right now, so why does she say is dangerous? What a lot of rubbish!

“Abdulla, How many time I have to tell you to move away from the door! Don’t let me tell you once more, stay away!” Yes, there she goes again! I really hate my life! “Abdulla move away from the door now!” if only I was somewhere else… beyond this dam door!

Ben and Abdulla live parallel lives –

Ben lives in a “safe” world, a world most of us know. Yet despite this he hates his life and wishes to be somewhere else. The most danger his mother has to worry about is he escaping through the back gate and drawn in the river… a terrifying thought for any mother I his world.

Abdulla lives in a “dangerous” world, a world most of us would never know. He hates his world; understandably, he is not even outside his front door and wishes to be somewhere else. The most danger his mother has to worry about is he escaping from the house and being killed by a bomb… a terrifying thought for any mother in his world.

Ben and Abdulla live worlds apart, yet there is very little that separates them. Their desire for being outside enjoying their childhood, their annoyance towards their mother and the wish of being somewhere else, all parallel. Yet the worlds they live in could not be so different, so apart. Right now, Ben is in his world and Abdulla in his, their desires and dreams are the same, their environment completely different.

For me what came into my head as I walked along the riverbank on a perfect summer’s afternoon was where did it all go wrong? Why am I able to enjoy this moment without a worry or a care in the world when somewhere else there is terrible conflict and suffering? At that moment someone, just like me, may be hiding for fear of being killed. Why can’t our two worlds be the same? We are the same two human beings with feelings and desires; yet not everywhere we live is the same… why?

Week Nine 2015 – Redefining your focus

Our lives can be so busy we may loose sight of what our focus is and instead of achieving a lot we thin down our successes.

In case you didn’t notice (and this will prove the point of this blog) this is week nine of 2015 and I skipped week eight!  This was done on purpose and I needed to break the norm to find out what this is really all about. After the successful completion of my 52-week blog challenge last year, I began 2015 with the same pace of writing a weekly blog. This was partly due to a very positive comment from someone encouraging me to continue to write weekly, but also because it has become and habit and once a habit is formed it’s easy to continue doing something. I also added to my already fully packed bag of hobbies doing a video Vlog of my travels, inspired by my children who watch endless hours of videos in YouTube and the self indulgent Christmas gift I gave myself in the form of the famous Selfie Stick. So it was only appropriate to adopt this new task and produce this weekly video.

But last week, as I sat and edited my video Vlog and tried to look for inspiration to write my blog and I began to get that feeling that I was doing too much and accomplishing perhaps too little. This thought came into my head as I also stumbled upon an incomplete play I have been working on and never finished. I was really miffed when I opened the file and began to read the dialog and realised I had not finished giving life to the story and its characters and now going back was harder as I had lost the thread of the story and needed to re-read and re-think the idea. I had been so busy writing weekly blogs and video Vlogs that I had forgotten I was working on this script. And to top up all these feelings I watch the Oscars thinking “I’ll never get there if I don’t focus on trying to write that golden nugget that will get me to Hollywood” If I am too busy with lots of little projects I will struggle to get anything big done.

So I put the proverbial pen a paper down and decided to redefine my focus. Whilst I really enjoyed the challenge of writing every week I needed to think about what my focus as a writer is. Apart from the fact that I guess you do run out of subject to write every week and I have added the video Vlogs to my repertoire which I also enjoy doing, all this drove me to neglect my script writing which at the end of the day is where my real passion (and I think my talent) really is. Wanting to be in the limelight and doing so much has made me realise I have so much to give but at the end I am just churning stuff to get it out there. I felt a bit like a reporter of a dally newspaper having to meet datelines and get my work out on time, which at the end of the day takes away the pleasure of what I do and why I do it.

So I have made a conscious decision to continue to bring to you my blogs but not in such a prescriptive manner, I guess just like I did before 2014, I want to write about experiences I see and come across as and when they emerge rather than trying to find these so that I can meet a dateline to get this to you. I know my loyal and trusty readers and follower won’t mind to get my blogs less often combined with video Vlogs and the occasional script or short story (in fact you may be glad you don’t have to read my stuff every week! J) So from now own, some weeks you may get a Vlog, or a Blog or a short story, a script or just simply a note keeping you up to date with my work.

Taking time out is a valuable lesson we should all keep in mind particularly when we feel we have lost our sense of purpose or direction. Sometimes stepping back and re-examining what we do will demonstrate that somewhere along the line we got side tracked, or derailed or even distracted from the real purpose and meaning of our passion, our focus, of the things we really enjoy in life. I encourage you to take time off, like me, to redefine your purpose, your goals, and your focus.  Life is a destination and there are many roads that lead us to the end, but if we loose ourselves by taking to many avenues, we end up in the dirt track with no real direction or clear view of our end goal. I’m off to finish that script I never completed and start the next project, who knows, this may be the one that gets me that ticket to the red carpet one day!