Worlds Apart

There are #moments in your #life that make you think, think hard of what life is all about. And I get those moments very often. I guess these are the bursts of #inspiration that drive me to #write and put my #thoughts on paper.

But recently I had one of those #moments that got me thinking very deeply, so deeply that I felt I had to write about it. However, I have been struggling the last couple of weeks, thinking about it but more importantly on how to express what has been in my mind.

I like to bring to you the moment that got me thinking of what life is all about in the form of a short story; a story is called “worlds apart”

“Ben” shouted my mother out loud as she always does, “come back inside and get yourself cleaned up before dinner” “don’t shout mother” I wanted to reply, I find it extremely annoying being shouted at, “I’m not deaf you know”. “Five more minutes mum, please?” is what I actually said to her. “Five more minute, not more” she shouted back! What’s the matter with that woman there she goes shouting again!, “I’ll come in when I want,” I wanted to shout back, but I didn’t. Honestly, I can’t stand the way she always shouts… I wish I was somewhere else, far away from here! I hate my life!

I love being outside… I relay love the garden at this time of the year. I guess I’m going to grow up to be a gardener; I love the smell of freshly cut grass, flowers booming with colours and aromas you only smell in the summer. I love to see all the small insects crawling all over the place and the occasional butterfly. If you want to see beautiful butterflies you have to go down the riverbank, it’s just a stroll away from our back garden, literally moments away… but I’m not allowed beyond the gate, mum says it’s dangerous, that I can drawn! What a lot of rubbish!

“Ben! How many times I have to call you? Don’t let me come out and get you!” Yes, there she goes again! I really hate my life! “Ben, come inside right now!” if only I was somewhere else… beyond that gate!

“Abdulla” shouted my mother out loud as she always does “stay away from the door, you know it’s not safe being out there” “don’t shout mother” I wanted to reply, I hate it when she shouts, “I’m not deaf you know” is what I wanted to say but I might as well be, with all the noise outside, I can’t stand it! “I’m just here mum, by the door, there hasn’t been any sirens for a while…” “Ok, but stay inside” she shouted back, honestly what’s the matter with her, why does she always have to shout?  I hate the way she always shouts; I wish I was somewhere else, far away from here! I hate my life!

I really love to be outside; Even though it’s very hot and humid, I love being outside and feeling the heat on my skin, warming up my body, I love the feel of being able to run free, without a care in the world. I wish I could be outside, playing, football. There is a great field just a crawling distance from my house, moments away. There I can kick the ball so hard, I could score a goal from midfield. If only mum let me go, there are no sirens right now, so why does she say is dangerous? What a lot of rubbish!

“Abdulla, How many time I have to tell you to move away from the door! Don’t let me tell you once more, stay away!” Yes, there she goes again! I really hate my life! “Abdulla move away from the door now!” if only I was somewhere else… beyond this dam door!

Ben and Abdulla live parallel lives –

Ben lives in a “safe” world, a world most of us know. Yet despite this he hates his life and wishes to be somewhere else. The most danger his mother has to worry about is he escaping through the back gate and drawn in the river… a terrifying thought for any mother I his world.

Abdulla lives in a “dangerous” world, a world most of us would never know. He hates his world; understandably, he is not even outside his front door and wishes to be somewhere else. The most danger his mother has to worry about is he escaping from the house and being killed by a bomb… a terrifying thought for any mother in his world.

Ben and Abdulla live worlds apart, yet there is very little that separates them. Their desire for being outside enjoying their childhood, their annoyance towards their mother and the wish of being somewhere else, all parallel. Yet the worlds they live in could not be so different, so apart. Right now, Ben is in his world and Abdulla in his, their desires and dreams are the same, their environment completely different.

For me what came into my head as I walked along the riverbank on a perfect summer’s afternoon was where did it all go wrong? Why am I able to enjoy this moment without a worry or a care in the world when somewhere else there is terrible conflict and suffering? At that moment someone, just like me, may be hiding for fear of being killed. Why can’t our two worlds be the same? We are the same two human beings with feelings and desires; yet not everywhere we live is the same… why?

There is always a reason why…

It’s been two months since I last put pen to paper… and there is a reason why.

And to be honest the reason is not a valid reason but a reason nonetheless, which is what promoted me to take time off my busy life and put some of my thoughts down on my good old blog. It pushed myself to finally get back on the saddle and ride my writing horse, something I really love, and have always had time for.

I wanted to share with you all my thoughts this week based on the fact that in life there is always a reason why we do or not do something, and that the challenge we face, more often than not, is finding far more reasons why we should not do something instead of why we should. It is human nature to divert from what we should be doing, often by finding those reasons why we should. Let me perhaps explain a little with a couple of examples.

Last year I had a magnificent year, I was on top of my game. I wrote a blog every week, I trained every day on the treadmill, which led me to complete my first ever half marathon and I wrote two scripts. And I managed to do my full time job too! This was all driven by my fundamental believe that you can do anything you want and time is there for us to use it wisely. Being disciplined with yourself is essential to achieve this and knowing that in life is much easier to say no than to say yes; therefore you need to remain focus to say yes rather than no. And why is it easier to say no? Because is the easiest alternative and by nature humans always look for the easiest solution; not always a bad thing, this is why we have progressed so much! However saying “I won’t run today because it’s raining” is the easier alternative rather than drive to the gym or indeed run in the rain! “I don’t have time, I’m just too tired” energy comes from believing you have it. “I can’t do it” because to be able to do it requires time, effort and commitment – which would you chose? Always the easier, NO! In other words there is always a reason why… why we can’t, but don’t forget there is also always a reason why… why we should!

So 2014 was my year of YES but 2015 has been the year of NO. Somehow I have managed to lead myself to find reasons why I can’t! It all began with my knee injury, which has put me out of running since last December. This has been a real blow to my self-esteem and energy and after 4 months of physiotherapy I now have an appointment to have surgery in September. It won’t be until year-end that I will be able to run again! And somehow I managed to talk myself into finding a reason why I can’t find alternative ways to stay fit, which has led me to gaining 5 kilos and making myself deeply unhappy!

At the same time I began to slip away from my writing and my newly acquired passion “Vloging” There is a connection here; my lack of commitment to stay fit is affecting my commitment to my passion and I have fallen into a deep circle where there is always a reason why… I can’t or don’t have the time to do something. And despite people reminding, often by commenting “we have not seen your videos recently or your blogs” or “how’s the fitness going” I kept on finding reasons why.

And it’s not about being busier or not being able to run, those are just circumstances in my life, its about being in the right state of mind to drive myself to make sure I have time and energy to do all of the things that I like, which I always have had in the past, nothing has changed!

I began this blog saying I had not put pen to paper for two months and there was a reason why. The reason was not valid but a reason all the same: I have talked myself into believing I had no time to write or Vlog, when time is the one thing I have! I guess the beauty of writing blogs is that one-day you can look back at what you wrote and think, “I have fallen victim of my own preaching and did exactly the opposite of what I believe” It’s good to know that no one is perfect!

So today I am finding a reason why I need to get back on track. And the reason is simple; it gives me great satisfaction and keeps me mentally healthy. Ok I can’t run until I have my operation, but I can do other types of exercise and watch what I eat! (at this point I have to credit my very wise, supportive, understanding and always right wife who knows best and has been telling me to do something else to stay fit… sorry you were right, again!) And ok I have a lot of work, but there is always enough time to write, even if it is just a few lines!

And finally I must remember the reason why I write, and that is “because someone out there reads!”

So I’m back, and there is a reason why…