Week Seven 2015 – The power of a Smile

There is nothing more powerful and more contagious than a smile, so give generously!

 They say that love makes the world go round, and I also say that a smile is the fuel of that engine that make the world go round. Have you ever stop to think how powerful a smile is? And how easy is to give a smile? It takes 37 muscles of your face to frown and only 17 to smile, so it’s even easier than you think. And giving a smile to someone can mean so many things; it can give comfort to someone in distress, it can make you feel safe in times of trouble, it can make you feel welcome in strange places and most of all, it gives you that magic energy every time you smile at someone; it gives the receiver that much needed positive energy.

And a smile always produces a smile (at the right time and right place) but without a doubt and failure, if you smile at someone they will smile back. They don’t know why, it just happens. I have conducted this social phenomenon several times in my life but I got a chance to demonstrate this to a group of people this week. And if you have never tried it before, I beg you to try it as soon as you are done reading this blog, it’s magical and it works every time. And most of all it always makes you feel better, as you have just given something to someone that will help them through their day.

The idea is very simple – when you see someone without a smile, smile at them! And I can guarantee, under normal circumstances, they will smile back. As I sat having dinner with a group of people this week we were served by a young girl who looked so miserable and with a long face. She was not angry or upset; she just simply didn’t smile. Perhaps she didn’t like her job, or something bad had happened that day, but she was defiantly not going to give us more than what she was required to do. At one point she dropped something and said in her native language “this is not my day” and then I knew why she was not smiling and I needed to do something. You can’t be so miserable when you are that young, you still have a lifetime ahead of you to suffer!

So I told the group about my theory and that I would make her smile. Some did not believe me and were skeptical (she really had a long miserable face which looked hard to crack!) but I knew she was not angry; she just simply needed some positive energy and what better way to give it to her than through a smile. I sat there, observing her, waiting for my moment to strike. And as she went around taking people’s orders I knew that would be my chance to make her smile. When it was my turn I looked at her as she held her pen and paper and rapidly dropped her eyes avoiding eye contact. So I paused and waited for her to look at me. There was a very short, awkward silence and everyone waited to see what would happen. And then she looked up, I guess she didn’t know what was coming her way and as she looked at me I smiled. And then, as if by magic, she could not resist and smiled back at me! Everyone erupted with laughter and I placed my order.

She walked away and I had proven my point and theory to everyone at the table and they were all so exited by it. Some were still skeptical and we debated the phenomenon for a while and what made someone smile back at you, so I challenged all my companions to give generously and I asked each and everyone at the table to give her one smile. This would give her enough fuel to get through her shift. And one by one, taking it in turns, gave her a powerful smile. And every time she smiled back, and may I add, more enthusiastic than the previous smile.

As the night came to a close, she had moved from a miserable young girl probably hating her job to a more pleasant woman who enjoyed serving our table but still probably hating her job!

In the end, the social experiment had been a success and my theory once more had triumph.

I am sure she went back to work the next day with the same long face, but at least I know we made her life a little bit better that night. But just think what her job would be like If everyone of her customers gave her a smile; not matter how much she hates her job she would enjoy coming into work to get showered with that tremendous amount of energy that would keep her going for the rest of the day.

I don’t understand why we don’t do this more, its great and helps the world go round.

So don’t just sit there not smiling, give it a go, you will enjoy it and if we all do it, it means that someone will do it to you too! Then we will all benefit from the positive fuel that a smile gives to your life.

Week Forty-one – Mind over Matter

In an arm wrestling match who would win, your mind or your body? It depends on what your mind tells your body!

#bournemouthmarathon

 I promise that after this week I will not to talk about fitness and running for a while but I have to share with you all my experience running my first half marathon. And I want to share this with you not to inspire you to run a marathon yourselves, but to understand how powerful your mind can be. I have spoken about this subject before in previous blogs and I have shared some amazing insights on this fascinating subject, but this week I will share with you first hand experience of my mind doing a half marathon and not me!

The 12 weeks training I endured leading up to the marathon was more of a metal training than a physical one. I was preparing myself mentally to believe I can run 21 kilometres and get there in one piece. This training required me to build my distance gradually every Saturday achieving 2k more every week and finally reaching the 21k two weeks before the actual event. When I reached this I was happy, not too exhausted and mentally prepared, or so I thought! The last two weeks leading to the day were gentle to avoid injury and be physically ready for run.

Two days before the big day I went for the last 6k run and at the end I felt my knee was not right. It was slightly soar and I began to worry. I have a knee injury, which comes on and off but now, two day before judgement day it was playing up. I don’t need to tell you that all day Saturday it hurt like hell and I was convinced I was not going to be able to make the finishing line. However, I was determined to do this so I told myself I would go, start off and if I didn’t make it to the end at least I didn’t give up that easily. Next morning I woke up, got ready and guess what? My knee felt better! My mind had won over matter!

I got there early and at the starting line I began to warm up and physic myself up to the challenge. Remember only two weeks before I had done this, with no problems at all, so I told myself I would be ok.

All runners gathered, we set off into our journey of 21 kilometres to Bournemouth Pier. I had a rough idea which way we would go and I just followed the crowd of people as we ran through the streets of Bournemouth. I was so exited to be there, in the middle of an ocean of athletes, that suddenly I heard my running app indicating we had reached the first kilometre, and now there were only 20 left to go! I was so distracted I hadn’t realised we had already been running that long. If I kept that way I would cruse this little challenge, no problem!

But soon after reality hit me! I became aware of my breathing and my heart rate as I checked it on my watch; it was high at 160, higher than normal for the first 5k considering my pace was not that fast. During the training my heart rate would have been 150 max at this stage. I also became aware of my knee; it was bothering me and began to worry me. I began to see the “elite” runners pass me by on the other side of the track; this really put me off as they looked as fresh as a cucumber! I was only a quarter of the way and my mind playing games!

I was running for charity and people began to shout my name; this lifted my sprits and I pressed on, I didn’t want to let anyone down specially myself! This helped me and I was back on track, I was not going to give up and I would make it to the end even if my knee would collapse! For the next 5k I increased my speed, I remained focused and pressed on.

As my app announced I was half way in my mind I began the countdown. During the training every time I got pass the half waypoint it became easier and always got there in good shape, so I was on a winning streak!

At kilometre 15 something unexpected happen that would test me even further on the power of my mind. At this point the way the race was laid you could see Bournemouth Pier, the finishing point of the marathon. That meant we would go back again to account for the 6k left. Cruelly but I am sure not done on purpose, we had to pass by the finishing line; this played a massive trick on my mind. I felt really tired and all I wanted to do was to stop, jump the fence and cross the line! My legs were hurting and my heart rate was almost 170, I was ready to give up, my knee was killing me! Was it matter winning over mind? Actually it was my mind telling my body to give up; I had seen the end and all I wanted to do was to finish and my body was shutting down. We passed a drink and energy gel station and I grabbed a bottle of water and a gel and almost stopped.  I didn’t, I drank and threw the bottle on the side (I always wanted to do that!!! Seen it on the telly!) and held onto my energy gel. I looked up and someone had collapsed in front of me! Was that going to be me soon? I looked at the energy gel and I said to myself “this thing must work, but I’ll take it 3k before the finishing line” Why did I do that? I knew that if I drank it then, 2k down the road I would be thinking “I’m running out of energy” and who knows if I’d would have made it. Remember last week’s blog? G’s & T’s? I need a goal, a target; something to focus on and 3k was the halfway point from here; that would be my reward.

One, two and three kilometres went by and when my app said “3 kilometres to go” I opened my energy gel and sucked it up, threw the package onto the side and raised my eyes, seeing Bournemouth pier in the distance, calling me!

I don’t know if those energy things work, never had one before, but all I know is that as ran the last 3k of my half marathon I never felt so good. I was back on track, I was ready to do this and do it in good time. Women and older runners where taking me over, I didn’t care, at this point I had one thing on my mind; I was close to the finishing line! And your knee Sergio I hear you say? What knee? I felt like Usain Bolt, fit as a fiddle and nothing was going to stop me from getting there!

I was so in the zone when I crossed the finishing line that I didn’t hear or see my family cheer me. I did hear the commentator shout my name, which made me lift my arms and cross the finishing line like I was number one! My mind had conquered over matter!

I was excused and my body ached, I struggled during the run and my pace, although good, was slower than during my training. It really shows that the pressure of being there and seeing people fail really has an influence on your performance on the day. The experience of running this half marathon really taught me how powerful our mind is and what it can do to our bodies. It’s so powerful that it can make you give up and it makes your body physically tired, it can crush your spirits and bring you down like a led balloon. Everything that was happening around me was influencing my mind, which in turn was telling my body to react accordingly. External factors affect the way we think, what we believe and how we think we can cope; our body, our sprit will just do what they are told. Mind over matter is the art of being able to block all those external influences that affect you, and turn it around focusing on what you want and not what is happening around you.

Never give up, ever! Your mind is stronger than your body; your spirit will never crush if your mind holds it high.

Week Thirty-five – Happiness!

“What a wonderful day! 

Someone is bound to come and mess it up!”

Happiness is something that often is contagious and makes you feel good, and it comes in different shapes and sizes. If you could bottle up happiness and sell it, you’d become a millionaire, and many would love you for it. Many people spend their entire lives searching for happiness and many never find it. You know when happiness has stroke you because it gives you that warm feeling inside which comforts you and makes you want to shout from the rooftop. In short, happiness is something that should be part of out lives, as it gives you positive energy, great attitude and helps you get by every day, giving you a wonderful day, even if someone comes and messes it up!

But why is happiness something so hard to get, to achieve or to make part of our lives? I am not saying it does not exits, but often it only comes in short busts and some time too few and far in between, yet it is so easy to do, to be happy. This week I was witness to how simple and easy it is to be happy, and what a difference is makes in your life. Now some say that there are several factors that affect people’s moods, and that it is hard to be happy when everything around you seems dark, when everything you know is negative and the whole environment around you is grey. With that in mind, my experience this week may be close to this argument as I was in sunny southern Spain where from 7.30 am to 9.30 pm you had cloudless blue skies and temperatures reaching 39 degrees! And everyone you met was happy!

But I do think that it is more that just the weather that makes people happy, I think it is cultural. I think that it is people’s attitudes that make a difference. The picture I chose for this blog and the quote in it were taken from a restaurant I had dinner this week in Marbella, Spain. This is an area called Andalucía and as I began to get inspired by Andalucía and it’s people, I knew I had to dedicate this week’s blog to a great group of people like no other, “los Andaluces!”

But let me give you an example of what I saw. There are many people out there that are positive and inspiring, many nations whose people are great examples to many of us for their outlook of life, but here, in Andalucía, was different. We are talking about a group of people from a province of Spain, they are Spaniards and in many ways their traditions and ways of living are similar to other provinces of Spain. However, here people really knew the meaning of life. Everywhere we went we met someone who after 5 minutes had made you feel comfortable and had opened up his or her lives to you. In here there are no barriers, no borders and no inhibitions. From the taxi driver, to the owner of a restaurant, to a total stranger in the streets, they would welcome you, talk to you, crack a joke, and tell you things about them unlike in many places where people wouldn’t even share anything if they’ve known them for years! But what was amazing is that this came natural to them, it was not a gimmick of a group of people who try to impress tourist, it is in their nature, to be happy. And when you are happy you are friendly and therefore you are open, you have no predigest against anyone and anyone can be your friend. When you are happy you tell a joke, and when you tell a joke you laugh, that laughter makes you feel good and if you feel good you feel comfortable. If you feel comfortable with someone you feel you can open up and if you do then all barriers that surround humans go down, all borders become obsolete and there is no longer a reason why not to share things with that person. This I think is the simple formula that people from this part of Spain apply to their lives.

It is, of course, hard to achieve for one simple reason; we are not always happy. Think about it. When you are not happy you are not friendly, if you are not friendly you are not in the mood for jokes, if you are not in the mood you won’t smile let alone laugh and therefore you don’t make people feel comfortable, if they don’t feel comfortable they can’t open up and communication breaks down, barriers come up and it is hard to share anything with people. In short, it all comes down to being happy!

Ok, so this week I was touched by the abundance of happiness Andaluces showed me, and I was of course on holiday, the weather was hot and there was not a single cloud in the sky, but the biggest lesson for me was that positivism, happiness, attitude or whatever you want to call it is contagious, it is an art and it is so essential in our lives. And yes, it can be a wonderful day and someone can come and mess it up, but only us have the power to drive this and make sure we remain happy all of our lives. The benefits are endless, and the rewards are great. Just remember the chain reaction formula I describe earlier on, one thing leads to another, and it all comes down to you. So I dare you to be happy, not just for a moment or two, a day or a month; but be happy all of your life, laugh out loud, tell a joke, smile, share with people things about you and what makes you tick, open up to those you meet, say good morning to a stranger in the street, and don’t let anyone come and mess up your wonderful day!

Week Thirty- three – #Culture

They say that Culture is at the heart of a nation and to get to that nation you have to win their heart!

You can take the boy out of Mexico but you can't take Mexico out of the boy!

This week I was talking to a group of people about culture and it is a subject that fascinates me for many reasons. And Culture is something so powerful and important in our lives that we should all pay attention to it and be aware of the implications that it has in our lives. But let’s first define what culture is. I am not going to give you the dictionary definition but rather what I have learned throughout my life.

First of all culture is at the centre of everyone’s life. It’s a set of values we live by and use to drive our actions. Culture is a passion for something we have inherited and will pass on to others and it is what makes us who we are. With this in mind, you can see why when I say culture is something very powerful I mean VERY POWERFUL! That is why often you hear people say “it’s a culture shock” essentially because when you are faced with something that doesn’t fit your culture, it throws out everything you know about values and set of norms you live by.

Now let us put this in perspective. I was born and raised in Mexico and spent the first 18 years of my life there. At heart and mind I am a Mexican and my routes are something I will never loose particularly because my formation years where spent living and breathing the Mexican way. They say you can take the boy out of Mexico but you can’t take Mexico out of the boy, a true statement for all of us. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been away from your motherland, you will always have something that ties you back, and it is who you are. And the reason for this is that your education and character building took place there and it is embedded in you.  For me growing up in Mexico set my views and values I now carry with me and live by, I am proud to be Mexican and will always carry it in my heart. There is a Mexican Mariachi song that says “Beautiful and beloved Mexico, if I die far away from you, tell them that I’m sleeping and return me to you” and nothing could be further from the truth, you main not be buried in your home land but spiritually that’s were we all end up.

But the boy left Mexico and went to the UK and did he have a culture shock! The next set of my formation years (teens) were spent in England, where things worked very differently! But here is where I became fascinated with culture without knowing it. Most people when they leave their country they become homesick, and they miss everything about their culture. It is a natural reaction; remember what we said about culture, it rules your life, so all of the sudden everything you know is out of whack! But for me it was different. Right up to the date I left Mexico I lived and breath the culture, it’s all I knew and loved it (Mexican’s do have a lot of fun!) but within days of being in the UK I was not missing Mexico any more. It’s hard to explain as I did and still love Mexico, but I was ready to embrace a new culture, which fascinated me. Some people saw this wrong as they believed I was forgetting where I came from, trust me I never have, but I didn’t need to miss Mexico to still love it, and at the same time I was learning a new way of life, a new set of values and passions of people in my new country, my new home. Pretty soon I realised that I wanted to stay in the UK and therefore I had to embrace the culture and live like an Englishman! Here is where I began to understand that culture is at the heart of a nation and to get to people’s hearts is through their culture. Often what cause conflict in society is segregation and the struggle between who is right and who is wrong. When you are a Mexican and live in the UK, if you live like a Mexican you will never fit in or indeed be accepted into society. You can remain proud to be a Mexican and still follow your traditions, but you must also embrace the culture where you live and conform to the values of the people there, after all you have chosen to be here.

I don’t mean to say I had to become English to be accepted, not at all, I still call myself a Mexican even though I’ve not lived there for over 28 years. But I had to learn their culture, accept it and live it, this was now my home and it would become part of who I am. So I guess I could say there is Mexican and English in me, Mexinglish may be the right word for me; I learned the values of the culture and lived by those values, which often aligned with my values as a Mexican.

I have sometimes called myself “citizen of the world” because I have been fortunate enough to also be able to experience different cultures and embrace them. My mother’s family came form Spain and I married a Spaniard, so I have also learned and embraced the culture. I have lived and worked in Germany and my father side has some German, so I declared myself German! There is some Jewish blood in our family and I have been fortunate enough to spend time in Israel through my work, I have felt home every time I’ve been there. I’ve been mistaken as an Armenian, Georgian, Azeri, Egyptian, Italian, and any other Latin Middle eastern countries you can think of, and when I’ve been in those countries I have learned and embraced their culture, and some times feel part of them! In my travels I have learned that the way to be accepted anywhere you are, first you have to accept where you are. Learn about the country, the people, their traditions, passion, believes, be respectful of these and try things, nothing is going to kill you. If people see that you accept them, they will accept you and also respect your culture back.

It is very rewarding to live and learn new cultures; it only makes you stronger and a better person. There are many values that are shared by all, Family, Health, Friendship, and Respect, we all live by these. So if we accept people’s culture, soon you will see that actually it’s not that far away from yours, the difference is the rich history and traditions that make each country and culture so unique and fascinating to learn, after all, we are all citizens of this world, the world belongs to all of us.

The sooner we remove segregation and separation of land, the sooner we will enjoy sharing our cultures and planned amongst our fellow citizens of the world!