Last year I celebrated
my 45th birthday and entitled it “I’m, halfway there” because I have
aspirations to leave to at least 90, anything after that it’s a bonus! Reflecting
on having lived half of my life helped me focus on how I want to leave the next
45 years.
Now I am turning 46
and beginning to ripe the efforts of my change of state of mind. Back then I
began to focus on my fitness and weight lose and work on other things that help
me enjoy life to the max. I have always believed that we only live once and you
cannot take anything with you to wherever place we end up, so you might as well
spend it and get it all done while you are here as nothing is coming with you.
Focusing on these
ideals has made me a very different man that I used to be, and fro the record,
I am not obsessed with my fitness or staying in shape, I just simply found a
way to enjoy my life and make sure I get to 90 in good condition. In my recent
holiday to Portugal with family and friends, I knew that in order to enjoy the
Portuguese delicious cuisine I needed to get up every morning while everyone
was still asleep and go for a run. You may think “Sergio, relax, you are on
holiday” and that is exactly what I was doing! By getting up in the morning and
go for a run I was doing two things; first spending time with myself to
energise and reflect; I see running as a great way to get my thoughts together,
think of my writing projects, focus on what I’m going to do next and get just a
little bit fitter. Second I was pre-burning those calories I knew I would enjoy
during the day. This daily run allowed me to not to worry about what I was
eating and whether I was putting on weight, which I will then have to work
really hard to get rid of it. How many times have you said that? I know I have
and getting rid of it afterwards its a nightmare. But by simply getting up in
the morning, going for my usual run, at no extra effort, I could enjoy my
holidays and stay in shape.
So no, I am not
obsessed with losing weight and staying in shape, I’d like to think of it as
just being in control and enjoying my life, enjoying those 45 years I have
left. Remember, self-discipline is harder to follow, as there is no one pushing
you to do it, it is up to you not to let yourself down.
So am I having a so-called
“Midlife Crisis”? Perhaps I am and in this “Midlife Crisis” I have purchased a
Rebook ZR9 Treadmill, which is now seating in my front room, a gift for my 46th
birthday. In some ways this is my “Parked outside Red Ferrari” because the
“Midlife Crisis” comes to all of us in different forms. And by the way,
“Midlife Crisis” does not only come to men but to women too, they also find
themselves with a new lease of life but may not be in the shape of a “Red
Ferrari” or my ZR9!
The reality is that
for many people becoming 40 something is a wake up call, a reality check that
brings us to change our habits, our outlook and in may cases our entire lives,
depending on how dramatic your change is. But I don’t think anyone escape going
through “Midlife Crisis”.
But why do we call it “Midlife
Crisis”? Reflecting on this and knowing what I‘ve seen in other people, the
term “Midlife Crisis” is used because some people’s lives, at the midpoint, had
had a very impactful change and become “Crisis”
We’ve often heard the
stories; “he left her for a younger woman” or “she met him in the internet and just
left her job and career to go and live with him in another country” These
changes are much more dramatic than getting a treadmill, but I don’t think they
are any different to my new fitness regime, the fact is that when you become 40
something, most people may feel they need to change their life in a
dramatically way. I think that those who make a much more dramatic change are
seeking something new which comes from deeper issues and a string of unhappiness
in their lives. This pushes them take the plunge and make a dramatic change;
mine was being unhappy with my health so I began to run, theirs was being
unhappy with their relationship or general life so they leave it all behind.
Now I am not
suggesting that this only happens when you become 40 something, there are plenty
of people who make dramatic life changes before or well after this age, I know
I did when I left my first marriage, but what I am suggesting here is that
there is a time in our lives, usually around half way, when we become a little
bit wiser and aware that time is ticking, that there is no turning back, we
know that moving forward the way we want will help us have a happier and more
enjoyable life. And so we change, we change our habits, our mentality, our
routines, our minds; we just simply know that it’s time to change before it is
too late.
So whether you are 40
something, not yet there or you well past already this stage in your life, I
hope this personal encounter of such critical time in our lives has help you in
some way to either know that change is good and comes to all of us in different
shapes and sizes, or to know that whatever your “Midlife Crisis” looks like, it
will make things better in your life. And if you haven’t been there yet, you
may want to think about it, and like me, take control of whatever time you have
left on this earth, because if we do not know where we will end up, we might as
well make the most of today and when we get there we can turn around and say
“yes I lived my life the way I always wanted”
If this is a subject
you enjoyed reading about and would like to enjoy a moving story on this, you
can check out my play called “40 something” in my website www.sergiosnyder.com it is the story of a woman who realises she has devoted all her life to
others and never to her, and she knows it is not too late to change.
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